I'm A Mess By Someone Before

It hurts remembering how it felt to shut down.

I need more luck, and perhaps some faith. The moment i feel like it's not gonna work, I'll back off. Every single time. I'm just too scared to take chances with my heart again. It's just depressing, the fact that I don't know what coulda happen if I took those chances. I have to blame it on those men who walks in and out of my life so easily.

So i might have found a reason to smile more lately, it's nice, this feeling. But being the pessimist that i am, i might be sabotaging my own happiness. Nicely done! -___-

"Let me open up and start again..."

I think it's safe to say that things are better now compared to weeks back. I was a total mess but I'm cleaning it one at a time. It hurts much less now, nevertheless, it still does. I could use some time to process the whole thing and let it pass. I need to understand better, understand how i got myself here from there. Time. That's what i need.

Anyway, enough with the emotions. Exam starts on 21st and I am just too relaxed that it's not gonna bring me any good. Shall go study with the boys tonight! 5 hours at least! I need good results, my mom deserves to smile and be proud. I owe that to her. For everything that she's done for me I have to at least make her smile :)

I love you, mother.

Oh before i stop, I have to tell the whole world what I found out today! There's an island called Pulau Babi Besar HAHAHAHHAHAH OMG OMG OMG my mind was blown I can still laugh about it after few hours of knowing. Big Pig Island ;) Okay, maybe it's nothing new, but it is to me! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Here's some random pictures ;)

xoxo